Reason's Why Stanton Hates His Life
by elephantsrocmysox
Summary: The title says it all folks.
1. Bananas are Yummy

**A/N: another S and S story, there r 2 many but they're my fave characters so I think I owe them a story. Besides I'm bored out of my mind I have to do sumthin.**

Stanton walked down the streets of L.A. 'Why do I have to be the prince of the fucking night,' he thought to himself. 'I hate my job and I'm sick of talking to an insane shadow who wants to overthrow humanity. And the atrox in his human form isn't all that much better than the shadow.'

He stopped by a pretzel stand and went into the vendor's mind. _I'm broke give me a god damn pretzel._ He said into the man's head.

The man automatically took a pretzel out of the cart and gave it to Stanton.

Stanton continued walking along the busy street. He was supposed to be meeting Serena at the mall. He was broke from buying Serena a pair of earrings that had cost him all of the money he had saved up and he had been a dollar short after all that. 'I hope you like your earrings, 'cause you can't count on another gift like that for a long time.'

He had reached the mall and walked into the food court. Unfortunately Serena hadn't told him that her friends were coming too. He knew that the most of the daughters still didn't trust him, even after he had saved their asses from the atrox just last week! 'Fools,' he thought. 'One of these days the atrox is going to come out of nowhere, kick your asses, and I'm not going to be their to save you.'

"Hey," he said casually, striding up to the four of them.

He went into Serena's mind. _God he's sexy._ He heard her think.

He smirked at her. _You're sexier._ He replied.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Serena screamed out loud.

"What's wrong?" Asked Jimena.

"Um... nothing. Stanton NEVER do that again." Serena said to Stanton.

"All right, god we're touchy today." He replied.

"So where're we going," asked Vanessa, who hadn't been paying attention to the conversation.

"I was thinking Banana Republic, I mean it's the coolest name," said Catty.

"You really love bananas." Said Serena, "Come on let's go."

Then they all walked out together towards Banana Republic.

**A/N: Ok sucky ending. I no. R&R:)**


	2. Some Badass Spanish Chick

**A/N: OMG I NEVER UPD8D THIS STORY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Ok. Now 2 respond 2 reviews.**

**ObsidianAngel6: Ur rite it is like ur attack of the crazy fan girls story. N I culdve done more with it. O well…**

**ShadoWings: thank you. I hope u like this chappie.**

**Ein: Hu doesn't luv Stanton? HE'S SO FN HOTT!**

**Darkgoddes57: lol. Yea I like that part 2.**

**On with the story! By the way this chappie takes place in The Gap.**

Stanton watched as the other daughters came out of the dressing rooms. He couldn't believe it. They were all wearing pink. PINK! Stanton hated pink. It was so feminine and weird. It was like red, but it was pink. It was so weird. Catty was wearing pink so low's, and a pink juicy sweat shirt. Serena wore a white shirt with a picture of a pink heart and a pink kaki skirt. Even in pink, Stanton's least favorite color, she was still sexy. Jimena was… well… let's say pink, isn't Jimena's color.

"Hey Stanton!" Jimena called.

Oh shit, thought Stanton. "Yes Jimena?"

"How do you think this pink leather skirt looks on me?" She asked.

It looks terrible, thought Stanton, the image grossing him out. "It looks great Jimena!" Oh God kill me now.

"That is so gay. Hey, Serena. Your boyfriend's gay!"

"What!" Exclaimed Serena.

"I'm gay? I mean… NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Serena walked up to him and slapped him on the cheek. "That's for making me believe that you loved me." She slapped him again. "That is for being a bastard."

Then she pushed him out of her way, leaving Stanton staring at her.

"Are we still on for the movies tonight?" Asked Stanton stupidly.

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Stanton walked up and down the streets. He couldn't believe that some bad-ass Spanish chick and made him lose his girlfriend by calling him gay. She made him seem stupid. Oh, she was going to get it.

He made his way into a club and shoved his way through the thick crowds of people. He went to the drink table and got himself a glass of punch. He wished they sold alcohol here; he could really use a drink.

He sat down at a table plotting his pathetic plot of revenge. When suddenly he heard, "oh Staaaaaaaaantoon. Staaantoon. STANTON I'M TALKING TO YOU, NOW TALK BACK OR I WILL KICK YOUR WEAK ASS!"

Uh oh. He knew that voice. It was the most evil deathly person in the world. He should run, no, that wouldn't work. Hide. Yes! He should hide! He ducked underneath the table. Oh, yea, he was good. No one would find him here. He gave himself a pat on the back. Man, this idea was SO much better than the idea he had to try on Serena's bra…

"Stanton! At last! I've found you."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

**A/N: Ok end of chappie. Wad do ya think? R and R:) O yea... can u guess hu it is?**


	3. My Stupid Inner Monologue

**A/N: Ok I'm finally updating this fic. Isn't that exciting (big, goofy grin)? Ok. Well thanx for reviewing. Hopefully this chapter will be better than the others. Remember to read AND review:)**

Chapter 3

"I… I… I mean Cassandra, hi!" Stanton stuttered. This was not good; he had fallen in the hands of Cassandra. Cassandra was his mortal enemy. She was like Doctor Evil from _Austin Powers _only more pathetic.

"Oh Stanton," she crooned, "You know I love it when you stutter." She dragged him out from underneath the table and snuggled close to him.

Stanton knew that pushing away from her was no use. Instead he said, "My aren't we… um…" she snuggled closer still, "Cozy." His voice cracked on the last syllable.

"Are we? I didn't notice," Cassandra said innocently.

"I love Se… you. I love you Ca… Cassandra," Stanton said quickly.

"Oh Stanton, you're stuttering again!"

'Must figure a way out of here," Stanton screamed inside his head. 'Wow, I can scream… IN MY HEAD! THIS IS AWESOME! Wait concentrate.'

'Concentrate? On what? Wait what does concentrate mean?' Asked a second voice in his head.

'Hey, can you keep the racket down I'm trying to watch TV," screamed a third voice.

'According to the dictionary concentrate means to…'

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Stanton screamed out loud. "TOO MANY VOICES IN MY HEAD!" He attempted to run away from Cassandra who happened to have a tranquilizer gun. She immediately shot him in the head.

Stanton was immediately knocked out.

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When he woke up he found himself in a bedroom, completed with a desk. He rolled over onto his other side and discovered that he was naked and his hands were handcuffed behind his back. His feet had chains that allowed him to spread his legs but not enough to walk. He was trapped.

A few hours later in Stanton time, actually five minutes, Cassandra walked in wearing nothing but a bathrobe.

"Hello Stantony-poo! Good morning. Are you enjoying being chained to the bed? Once I get us both dressed I'll chain you to me and then we'll go off to work!" Cassandra said cheerily.

"Work? Wait a second chained… TO YOU?" Stanton screamed.

"Of course, honey I can't have you running away from me." She said as she pulled off her robe. There was nothing underneath the robe. So Stanton was looking at Cassandra... NAKED."

"Oh my God you're naked." Stanton said.

"Of course sweetie, but don't worry after work you'll be quite used to it." She said.

Stanton closed his eyes. He couldn't believe this. He was naked, she was naked, he was chained, and he then he was going to be chained to her. "Ok honey, I'm dressed now."

Stanton opened his eyes. She was wearing a wedding gown. "Now, let's put on your tux."

""Um… congratulations on your wedding, um… who's the lucky groom?" Stanton asked. He thought to himself, 'this is great she's getting married and she wants to make sure I don't run away before her wedding. Hey, maybe the unlucky guy his Tymmie. HAHA. That would be hilarious. Wait… Tymmie was already married to Karyl. Maybe it was Murray or… LAMBERT! Now I have dirt on Lambert, damn I should have brought my camera…'

Stanton's thought process was interrupted when Cassandra said "the lucky guy is you honey! We're going to elope!"

**A/N: Hope you liked my third chappie. Sorry it took so long to update. Remember to read and review!**


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